Infertility can have a horrible way of making you feel broken, and it doesn’t matter whether you are female or male. The truth is women can only get pregnant a few days during their menstrual cycle. Eggs can only live for around a day after being released. Where sperm can be active for around five days. So let’s look at some hard truths about trying to get pregnant and how to cope.

Pregnancy is possible 3 to 5 days before ovulation or on the day of ovulation. You can track this using a period app that tells you when the best time to conceive is, although everyone’s cycles are uniquely different. You can read more on fertility timing.

There are many steps to getting pregnant. A woman needs to release an egg, this same egg needs to go through the fallopian tube toward the uterus while a man’s sperm needs to meet it along the way. The egg then needs to implant itself inside the uterus.

The stress of trying to start a family can take its toll on your personal life, work-life, and personal relationships. It is hard trying to hold a smile when inside you feel like crumbling.

Research has demonstrated that it is often more difficult—but not impossible—to conceive naturally after a certain age.

About 10 percent of women, (6.1 million) in the United States ages 15-44, have difficulty getting pregnant or staying pregnant, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

Between the age of 30-34, your odds of conceiving are still high — up to an 86 percent success rate for couples that try for a full year. The only major change is that your chances of miscarriage by age 30 rise to 20 percent.


It is true that you and your partner may have different reactions to the situation of trying to fall pregnant. Ensure you have the support of friends or family you need around you during this time. You certainly should not feel like you are going through this alone, as there are many who can understand the emotions that go with this.

  • Make sure you are educated and informed by the right people. Of course, a bit of research on the internet doesn’t go astray but don’t assume you know what the issue maybe, get the facts from a professional.
  • Take a break from time to time to regroup and show yourself self-care with relaxation techniques and by doing things that you love. Be there for yourself and ask for help when you need it. Reducing stress while trying to get pregnant can also increase your chances.
  • Keep a life beyond trying to get pregnant. Your life doesn’t and should not end here. It is important to accept that life throws us on different paths for various reasons we may not know. Try and keep open to your path and don’t compare your journey to others.
  • Practice a regular exercise or group activity like yoga, meditation, dance, pottery, or something you enjoy doing, where you can be apart of a like-minded network.

There are different theories for ways to help boost fertility naturally so there is no harm in trying some of these.


Men’s Fertility Business

As the saying goes it takes two and men do play an equal role when it comes to conceiving. Normally, semen is a thick, whitish liquid. However, several conditions can change the colour and consistency of semen. Watery semen can be a sign of low sperm count, indicating possible fertility problems.

Infertility in men is most often caused by:

  • A problem called varicocele. This happens when the veins on a man’s testicles are too large. This heats the testicles. The heat can affect the number or shape of the sperm.
  • Other factors that cause a man to make too few sperm or none at all.
  • The movement of the sperm. This may be caused by the shape of the sperm. Sometimes injuries or other damage to the reproductive system block the sperm.

Sometimes a man is born with problems that affect his circumstances. Other times problems start later in life due to illness or injury. For example, cystic fibrosis often causes infertility in men.

Things that can affect the overall life of a man’s sperm are;

  • Age
  • Alcohol, smoking or taking drugs
  • Toxins in the environment like pesticides
  • Health issues and serious kidney or hormone conditions


It is true that age along with lifestyle can all contribute to falling pregnant. As women age, it impacts the quality and quantity of our eggs. A poor diet or weight issues, as well as hormones and health or sexual history, can also affect the fertility of a woman.

So, if you have been unsuccessful in trying to fall pregnant, then here are just some of the things that could be causing the issue. Although sometimes there is just no real explanation for it.

Ovulation issues like irregular periods

Polycystic ovaries

Early menopause

Uterus physical issues

Ectopic Pregnancy– When a fertilised egg settles and grows in a place other than the inner lining of the uterus.

Endometriosis– Blood shed monthly from the misplaced tissue has no place to go, and tissues surrounding the area of endometriosis may become inflamed or swollen. This can produce scar tissue. Symptoms include painful menstrual cramps that can be felt in the abdomen or lower back, or pain during or after sexual activity, irregular bleeding.

Too much prolactin. The pituitary gland may cause excess production of prolactin (hyperprolactinemia), which reduces estrogen production and may cause infertility. Usually related to a pituitary gland problem, this can also be caused by medications you’re taking for another disease.




Be present at the moment, don’t blame yourself or your partner for not falling pregnant. Focus on your relationship and that you are grateful to have someone on your side.


If you have been trying to conceive for a while without any luck then make an appointment to chat with a professional doctor. They can help with further testing and guide you to your future options. Doctors will do a physical examination on both partners to determine the causes.


Don’t view intercourse as an activity just to make babies. It is important that you and your partner enjoy each other and bond sexually. If you add too much pressure on when to have sex and for it to be a certain way then you will only make the process more of a burden.


Talk to someone. Open up to a support group, friend, or someone going through the same situation. You do not need to feel like you are going through this alone.


Show yourself, love. Treat or pamper yourself, go away for a weekend, or spend time with your closest friend. Take the focus off trying to fall pregnant all the time.


Understand that families are made up of many different situations. There is no right or wrong stereotypical relationship or family dynamic. Live your life the way you want even if you do not have everything right now the way you thought you would.

Conclusion; to be or not to be pregnant

Sure it really sucks if you are seeking to have a family and it is just not working out. The irony is that it will seem like everyone else around you is falling pregnant and talking babies. Generally, that is how it seems to go, when you draw attention to something, it is all you see around you.

Instead of feeling defeated or self-sabotaging try to make peace with the decisions and options you have. If you have taken all the action you can, which includes seeking professionals and discussing with your partner your options, it’s time to start rebuilding your relationship and life.

Sometimes we cannot change our circumstances it is how we learn to cope with them that matters. It can be very painful trying to express your emotions and hurt feelings, but it is important. Remember to prioritise yourself, your partner the love you have for one another, and let the people who care for you share in supporting you. Life has so many other amazing aspects and opportunities and many people choose not to start a family, and these people deserve the same respect as any other.

So just a word for thought next time you bump into someone who you haven’t seen in a while don’t go asking personal questions about why or when they will have a family, not only is that old school but honestly inappropriate.

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